MEMO

      From: a Child

      To:     Parents

• Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for – I’m only testing you.

• Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it and it makes me feel secure.

• Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.

• Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big”.

• Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

• Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of value.

• Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the hard way sometimes.

• Don’t be upset when I say “I hate you”. Sometimes it isn’t you I hate but your power to thwart me.

• Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.

• Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

• Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should. This is why I am not always accurate.

• Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I’ll stop asking and I’ll seek my information elsewhere.

• Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

• Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.

• Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.

• Don’t ever think that it is beneath to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me fell surprisingly warm towards you.

• Don’t forget that I love experimenting. I couldn’t get along without it, so please put up with it.

• Don’t forget how quickly I’m growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but do try.

• Don’t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need to tell you, do I?

• Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.